Smithers, it seems that while sunning myself on this giant orange rind, my limbs dehydrated again.

Get me my B12 shot before these ninnies mistake me for an urchin and throw me out to sea.

♪ He may be called Toothpick, but he’ll always be Monty, to me ♪ (with apologies to Billy Joel), Jean T.

Let me guess. You’re making a Bundt cake.

Harebrained submission, Emily B.

Welcome to the RPG (Rhino Proving Grounds) here at Busch Gardens.  Each morning, new recruits report to their MOM (Maneuverable Obstacle Mentor) for a run on the training track, evading GNU (Ground Nuisance Units) before settling down for a well-earned NAP (Nighttime Asleep Procedure).  Sure it’s tough, but it’s how we make sure your next Rhino is rugged, maneuverable, and built to last.

In Tampa, your local Rhino dealer is Nick G.

Jumpy as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

When pigs fly!

Holy cow!

Jiminy Cricket!

Leapin’ lizards!

According to Lana D., the only thing harmed in the taking of this photograph was possibly an ear lobe.

King of Prussia, PA – Bengal kitten, Champion Tippy-Toes McWhispersons (street name: Chuck), got the surprise of his life when he awoke to find himself stranded on a crochet throw.

Never setting foot on anything less than Frette, Chuck was obviously dubious of shabby chic. Frozen in place, Chuck uncomfortably sat in fear that these weird indentations would throw him off-balance, should he dare stick a paw out.

Surrounded by this sea of suspicious fibers, Chuck took matters into his own paws. He stared at it and willed it to transform into his beloved soft, velvet smoking jacket.

That’s one brave kitten, Katia.

Excuse, me? I said I wanted a non-fat with extra-foam. And you gave me a full-fat with extra-fluff.

Not to mention that this biscotti appears to be a carrot, Andrea B.

In light of C.O.’s practice of keeping its nose out of current events, we wish to state that the following video of a cute tiger has nothing whatever to do with the marital woes of any professional athlete. And now: Sit back, relax, and enjoy the song stylings of Mistress #103,271!

Mabel is – how should we say? – eccentric. Has been, ever since those red-tailed monkeys accidentally clocked her with that Frisbee they whittled out of that Acacia bark. She wasn’t seriously hurt, thankfully, but the hit definitely rattled something. Like, it’s especially odd when she licks our horns and says, “Well, that’s the best darned drumstick I’ve ever had!”

Mabel is as Mabel does, Mari P.

We’ve just been informed the National Geographic Photo contest has announced their winners… Here’s one of them, courtesy of the fine folks over at Nat Geo. It’s called “Baby Gibbon Gets Schmutz Taken Off Cheek by Mom”

I repeat, Noodles is indeed awake. As we reported earlier, she was sleeping most of the day, but now appears fully lucid, with ear bows intact.

Excellent cuteporting, Miguel G. of Petographer.

I assume you want chocolate sauce over the whole thing?

Say yes, Nehama V.!

[Whispering] Ladies and Gentlemen, Noodles has decided to sleep in. We’ve tried Sausage-smell-smelling salts—nothing will awaken her.

All we can do is patiently wait, make sure her ear bows stay on, and photograph the hell out of the situation.

We’ll check back on this story this afternoon. Miguel G. at Petographer will keep us informed.

Hey, Norton, what’s happening? Listen, I’m going to need you to not press snooze again, alright? Yeah, if you could go just ahead and get up and come into the office, that would be grrrreat.

That’s my stapler, Stephenson B.

Oooooooooh for meeeeeeeeee

Thank yoooooou!

Oooooooooh!

[Pan down] [Annoyed kids voice] Yeah. Thanks.

Thanks a lot. Let’s go, Mom. Vamos.

Grateful walla and wallababy photographed by Melissa B. in Australia’s Rainforest Habitat.

Your mission is clear, little Ham.

Roll into the kitchen, procure yogurt drops, and roll back.

It’s simple.

We’ll be waiting for you.

DON’T MESS IT UP!

GO KRYSTLE C.!!!

It’s a never-ending stream of kittens-on-backs this last week. Adding to the collection, check out this prosh specimen, a kitten named Cotton:

Anerabuhls, Elizabeth M. See Cotton’s channel here.

Roving cuteporter Miss Heather over at NewYorkShitty found these anerable teeny subway shots. The photographer Victoria Belanger says:

“I’m a photographer for the DA’s office and there is a women there who makes these models (trains, apts, buildings, etc) for court cases, as a visual aid for the jury. The train is perfectly hamster sized so I brought my super tame hamster into work yesterday for a little photo shoot. They came out better than expected. I’m really excited about them.”

Our compliments to you, Sender-Inner Chef Mike! Via NewYorkShitty and BoingBoing.

If you were expecting actual flying foxes – sorry, but we have something better – bats!

And may I introduce you to Beatrice, our resident gossip hound:

These tiny freaking gigantic flying foxes are a type of bat vital for the pollination of tropical plants, yet they’re listed as “vulnerable” on the endangered species list.

These two guys come from the Tolga Bat Hospital that rescues, rehabilitates and releases hundreds of bats that would otherwise die. They also provide lifetime sanctuary for many bats that are too severely injured to return to the wild or have been retired from zoos.

Check out:  http://www.tolgabathospital.org/

Thanks, Alina K.

Um, excuse me? I don’t mean to disturb you, but if you wouldn’t mind just scootching over for a moment…? I just ate at Panda Express and I have Duck Sauce all over me. Hello?

No worries, I’ll just grab some toilet paper…

“No, I can’t spare a square. Now beat it. I got eatin’ to do.”

Try a hotel lobby Rhiannon and  Natalie S.

In this corner, weighing in at fiiiiiiive pounds, please weeeeeelcome, Saddies MiiiiiiiicFrownersons!

And in this corner, weighing in at threeeee pounds, pleeeeease welcome challenger Professssssssor Lazy Eye Von Sour Puss!

What say you, Stephanie S. and Travis C.?